Monday, 24 March 2014

Obanikoro bemoans ‘marginalisation of Lagos indigenes’

LAGOS—THE Minister of State for Defence, Senator Musiliu Obanikoro has decried what he described as alleged marginalisation of Lagos indigenes in running of the affairs of the state.

He also urged the indigenes to come together for the benefit of the younger generation irrespective of political divide.

Senator  Obanikoro said this at the 6th Herbert Macaulay Memorial Lecture entitled ‘The Place of Lagos State Indegenes’, in Lagos.

In his address, the minister said that all Lagos State indigenes must stand together to resist a conscious effort to shrink the political and economic space of the indigenes.

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According to him: “Today the indigenes of Lagos State  stand at the praecipe.

“In the last 16 years of democracy, the true number of Lagos indigenes that have been commissioner are up to 10. Similar trend has been seen at the National Assembly.”

He noted that it is more saddening that majority of those who have been at the helm of affairs in Lagos are from other Yoruba states saying; “When I was a Senator, I was the only indigenous Senator representing Lagos State.”

While he alleged that non-indigenes “have cornered the resources of Lagos for themselves to the detriment of the indigenes,” he pointed out that there was nothing wrong in the Lagos State government putting in place more  efforts to empower indegines.

He said: “What we must do is to use the platform of the Association of Lagos Indigenes to protect what belong to us. The world over, efforts are made to give indigenes their right of place irrespective of their number. The fact that we are generous should not make us a victim. We should work to ensure that our status as indigenes are restored.”

Speaking further, he said; “We cannot downplay the principle of peaceful co-existence. Lagos is the most important symbol of unity in Nigeria. We must be counted among those who will  stand up. Lagos deserves a befitting. We must be counted among those who will  stand up. Lagos deserves a befitting special status. By its special status, it can stand as a country on its own. And that is why Lagos must be well protected”.





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The Truth About Wedding Night Sex


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No matter what religion you were raised with (or without!), society tells us that the consummation of marriage right after a couple's Big Day will set off fireworks bigger than any Macy's Fourth of July Spectacular. Reality check: At least 25 percent of couples don't even have sex on their wedding night because they were too drunk or tired, according to a recent survey of 1,000 newlyweds by wedding stationary company Paper Shaker.

Judging from our own findings on the matter, that percentage may very well be a lot higher! And even those couples who did do the deed aren't ballyhooing it as their best time between the sheets by far! Thus, in an effort to not necessarily burst anyone's bubble about their wedding night but bust unrealistic myths about it, here are 15 sex confessions we got from brides about what their wedding nights were really like.

1. "My ex-husband sprained his ankle badly while drunkenly dancing with one of our bridesmaids to 'Cotton-Eyed Joe.' His parents came up to our hotel room later that night to check on him, because he was so swollen. Needless to say, the only moaning coming from our room was him ... moaning in pain!"

2. "My husband passed out from drinking on the bus ride to the hotel from the reception. I spent the night making sure he was okay and finally eating something after not eating all day."

3. "I guess that's the one advantage of having a dry, Mormon wedding -- we weren't too drunk to have sex!"

4. "We had sex, but I barely remember it, because I was hammered! Keepin' it classy."

5. "We got married in Vegas, so we had a great time at a club in our hotel. But after a whole night of dancing and toasting, we went back to our suite and passed out."

6. "We got into an argument, because a group of his friends got drunk since we had open bar and was being disruptive and rude and he thought I had asked them to leave our wedding. I didn't, [but] we spent our wedding night in separate rooms."

7. "My husband got drunk on champagne and the sex sucked, and he passed out right afterwards. I spent the night watching TV. We are divorced now."

8. "The first thing we did was climb on the bed (tux and gown still on) and opened all of our cards to count our cash. Then, ordered pizza. Even though we had a buffet at the reception, we were still starving. We ate pizza in bed while watching TV. We did NOT consummate our marriage that night. We were way too tired!"

9. "I was six weeks pregnant and sick as a dog, so we got through the courthouse wedding, suffered through my mother taking us out to dinner, went home and went right to bed!"

10. "I put on some lingerie in an attempt to look nice. My husband was more excited about opening the envelopes and counting the money from the checks. He said, 'Don't feel obligated to have sex.' We were too tired anyhow and went to sleep."

11. "We had a morning ceremony and breakfast reception, so we went home afterwards, I had a nap, then I had to work the night shift. How about that for romantic? Hah."

12. "We almost burned the B&B down! I threw his shirt over the top of a lamp, then later, we went out for dinner. When we came back, the shirt was scorched, and the room smelled like burnt cotton."

13. "I was exhausted and one of my bridesmaids came in our suite to make a sandwich. Her husband then wants a sandwich, and I finally get the dress off and am almost asleep when the groom wanted to celebrate our marriage. I'm pretty sure I slept through it."

14. "We spent our wedding night in the emergency room. Whoever set up the cake table didn't lock it in place properly, and it crashed on my foot."

15. "We got crazy drunk, but still managed to have a lot of fun getting it on. The next day we went [out] and came back to our room to find the cleaning service had been in the room to freshen things up for us and [put] all of our 'toys' in a pile by the bed and covered with a cloth. I about died of embarrassment thinking of the staff donning rubber gloves and pincer-grasping each item and placing them carefully in a pile!"

What was your wedding night really like? Would you guess the 25 percent stat is actually much higher?

Credit: The Huffington Post

Investors Push Africa’s Largest Refinery-Petrochem Complex in Nigeria

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The construction of what is said to be Africa’s largest refinery and petrochemical complex, sited in Nigeria, would create training and jobs for at least 8,000 engineers and technicians, according to the main investor.

Dangote Group of Companies, a large Nigeria-based industrial conglomerate, last year announced it will invest $9 billion in a 400,000-barrel-per-day refinery and a 600,000-metric-tonne-per-year polypropylene plant in the Lekki Free Trade Zone, which is jointly owned by a Chinese consortium.

Dangote Group President Aliko Dangote said in Lagos in mid-February that his company will raise $3 billion in equity for the refinery and petrochemical plant.

Last September, it signed a $3.6-billion loan, coordinated by Standard Chartered Bank and Nigeria’s Guaranty Trust Bank, for the projects.

Earlier this month, a Nigerian business publication reported the project moved ahead with the award of a $139-million contract to India-based Engineers India Ltd. for project management and EPC-related management services.

Italy’s Saipem was awarded a front-end design and engineering contract last year, with support from India’s Tata.

Nigeria’s oil-and-gas industry is dominated by foreign firms, and much of the high-skilled labor is imported, despite enactment three years ago of a law that provides guidelines on employment and training of Nigerian and expatriate personnel in the sector.

“Operators must give Nigerians first consideration for employment and training in respect of all executed projects and may be required … to maintain a reasonable proportion of employees from areas of significant operations,” says the law.

Oil-and-gas companies are allowed to hire expatriates for, at most, 5% of a project’s management positions.

Dangote has said the complex is set to be completed in 2016.


Credit: reportingnigeria.com

55 killed as Tiv youths and Fulani Herdsmen clash in Benue





It was a bloody afternoon yesterday March 23 in Benue state as some youths of the Tiv tribe clashed with suspected Fulani mercenaries in the state, leaving 55 people dead. The communal clash which is reported to be about land matters happened at Gbajimba, the headquarters of Guma LGA of the state.

Sources say suspected Fulani mercenaries had attempted to attack the Tiv community in the morning at about 10am but were resisted by the youths. They then made a return after a well coordinated attack plan had been hatched. They came in their hundreds, shooting indiscriminately and burning down houses. Continue...

"They came in their numbers very early in the morning from Awe, Nasarawa State and made an attempt to seize the town and the local government secretariat but they were confronted by our youths who resisted them, forcing them to beat a retreat. Later in the afternoon at about 1pm, they staged a more coordinated attack on the town, this time they came in their hundreds, shooting, burning down houses, huts and killing anything in sight. The Police station in Gbajimba was helpless because we have less than 50 officers and men on ground at the station and this attack has completely overwhelmed them". A witness said
Benue State Deputy Governor Steven Lawani while speaking at a thanksgiving service yesterday at the state capital, Makurdi, pledged that residents would reclaim their land being occupied by Fulani herdsmen.

LASAA Spearheads formation of Outdoor Advertising Regulatory Body In Nigeria



Lagos State Signage & Advertisement Agency (LASAA) is spearheading the formation of an association to protect the interest of outdoor advertising regulatory agencies in Nigeria. Sources in LASAA said the proposed regulatory body may be known as Outdoor Advertising Regulatory Association of Nigeria (OARAN). LASAA, the first structured outdoor regulatory agency in Nigeria says the proposed association would help promote sustainable economic growth in a vibrant outdoor advertising sector across the country.

Speaking on this development, the Managing Director of LASAA, Mr George Noah noted that:
"Outdoor Advertising regulatory bodies in Nigeria are faced with several and similar challenges including the decline of out of home advertising spend due to competition from internet, radio and T.V. It is important to have a platform that allows for idea sharing, protection of industry interest and a general collaboration for sustainability in the emerging world."


Noah listed other challenges as varied standards, rates, human resource capacity and outdoor sites in military and police formations. LASAA was established in 2006 to regulate and Control the display of signs and outdoor advertisement in Lagos State. Following its successful operation, it has become a model for other States. Some of its key initiatives include the signage and outdoor advertising master plan to improve the visual communication environment in the State.

It is expected that this collaborative effort of pioneering the first outdoor advertising regulatory association in Nigeria will bring about the much anticipated change and growth within the outdoor advertising landscape across the country. Some of the Agencies expected at the meeting include Ogun State Signage and Advertisement Agency (OGSAA) and EKSAA for Ekiti State, KWASAA for Kwara State just to mention a few.

Signed: Temitope Akande
Manager, Corporate Affairs/PR Department
E-mail- takande@lasaa-ng.com


Photo: Ogun community saves day-old baby





After crying helplessly for nearly 24 hours inside a soak away pit, a day old-baby was over the weekend rescued from a pit in Olomore area of Abeokuta North local government of Ogun state.

An eyewitness said that residents of Surulere community in Olomore area of Abeokuta North woke up to a cry of a little baby coming from a soak away toilet behind a church in the area.

Residents said they'd heard the baby crying in the early hours of Saturday morning but could not link the cries to a particular direction. However, later in the day, around 6pm, the baby’s crying became more pronounced and they traced it to a soak-away pit. There, they found the baby, a boy, who was alive with his placenta uncut.

The pit slab cover had collapsed some years ago and had not been replaced. The damaged slab concrete saved the baby from going deep into the soak-away pit. (Source - Telegraphng.com)

Fela Kuti: The Man Every Rapper Wants To Be


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The man was Muhammad Ali, Che Guevara, and James Brown rolled into a tightly packed spliff that constantly burned with fiery inspiration. One million people, as in six zeros, attended his funeral. Most rappers don’t see six zeros until IRS rolls up with a bill. He was laid to rest in a glass casket with a joint in his hand (he was a notorious toker and was said to smoke cigar-sized joints ). A$AP would get shrinkage from just trying to live up to that.

Fela Anikulapo Kuti. His name as instantly electrifying as the 20-minute bizarre rides, not so much songs, he’d piece together with a band that put James Brown’s posse to shame. William Collins himself, Brown’s bassist and member of Parliament-Funkadelic, said “we were telling them they’re the funkiest cats we ever heard in our life. I mean, this is the James Brown band, but we were totally wiped out!” Some cat named Paul McCartney called Fela Kuti and his backing band Africa ‘70 the best band he’d ever seen live. Would the man with 60 gold discs say the same thing about The Roots?

Dude not only was asked by Sir Beatle himself to make music together, which Kuti denied based on principal (more on that later), but he made Paul weep at one of his concerts. Like “what 95% of the people on this planet do when they hear ‘Hey Jude’” weep. The kind of weeping Maejor Ali must have done when Justin Bieber agreed to “rap” on “Lolly.”

In many ways, Fela Kuti was the man every rapper has tried to become in their own ill-fated way.

Credit: ghananewsreport.com

Cartel Imports 40 Chinese Prostitutes as Expatriates – NIS


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The Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS) has said that the 40 Chinese teenage girls earlier arrested on Sunday, at Emina Crescent, Ikeja,  were brought into Nigeria on expatriate quotas of four Chinese owned companies operating in the country.

Consequently, NIS disclosed that the four companies including a popular iron melting company located in Ogba area of Lagos would be sanctioned for abuse of immigration/expatriate quota law of Nigeria.

A top immigration source disclosed that the service high command has been given the go ahead to handle the incident with utmost dispatch. “We have the approval to sanction the four companies who decided to abuse their quotas. I can assure you that this is not going to be a child’s play because at the end of the day this organizations would have to face sanction, including heavy fines,” said a senior NIS officer. The officer who spoke with our Correspondent in a telephone interview from Abuja added that the affected companies usually apply for expatriate quotas to bring in skilled staff for their operation in the country, only for them to sell such quotas to human traffickers who would use it to import teenage Chinese girls into Nigeria for prostitution and other dirty jobs.

Also speaking, the leader of the team that invaded the prostitutes Hostel at Emina Crescent, off Toyin Street, Ikeja in Lagos last weekend, Joseph Omoniyi, as Assistant Superintendent of Immigration (ASI) confirmed to our Correspondent that four Lagos based Chinese companies (name withheld) have so far been indicted.

“We have already started investigation on the affected companies and soon they would be sanctioned accordingly. The offense they have committed is criminal, and that is how they shall be treated. You applied for expatriates for your company, NIS gave it to you, you now turn around to sell such quota to cartel who used it to perpetrate crime. The law is there to deal with them.”

He stated further that some companies apply for two or three expatriate quota and ended up bringing in over one dozen Chinese along with them when they are coming. “If you asked them they would tell you, they are either their children, wives, sisters/brothers or cook and stewards. It is these girls that they later turn to prostitutes. Some of these girls are used to launder money by our politicians.”

The Nigerian Immigration Service had last weekend swooped on 40 Chinese teenage girls at Emina Crescent, off Toyin Street, Ikeja in Lagos and arrested over 13 of them, stressing that the rest girls and the kingpins (husband and wife) escaped.

It was also learnt that the Chinese couple, Sun and Yin Li, who runs the ring charges the teenage girls $1,000 dollar a day. “The girls charge their clients around $2,500 dollars for a night outing. This is real exploitation and forced labour. The teenage girls are given to top business moguls, politicians and other top class socialites.”

NIS added that investigation has already begun and soon the suspects would be charged to court. “After that they will all be deported to China. But we want to appeal to anybody harbouring the run-away kingpin turn them in or such person would be treated as an accomplices.”

credit:politcaleconomistng

Graphic photo: Girl mutilates another girl over love affair with her man



A teenage girl named Funmilola has been arrested by the Nigeria police after she attacked another teenage girl with a sharp object, slashing her neck, after accusing her of dating her boyfriend.

15year old Haliya Odunaya (pictured above), who is a senior secondary student is currently receiving treatment at Stars Clinic on Apapa Road in Ebute Matta after the brutal attack left her fighting for her life.

Her attacker, Funmi, who is said to be a little older that Haliya had warned her to steer clear of 'her man' or prepare to pay for it. On Saturday March 15th, Haliya paid, and paid big time.

After Funmi heard that Haliya and her boyfriend had met up that day, she went to Haliya's house to confront her. And that was where the attack took place. Continue...

Narrating what happened that day with reporters, Haliya denied having an affair the man in question.
“I was coming from where I went to buy something that night when Funmilola met me at the end of the street. She started pushing me and insulting me but I did not utter a word. When I entered our house, she stood outside and was shouting at the top of her voice heaping insults on my parents and I.
“At that stage I decided to respond to her threats and went to meet her to warn her against insulting my mother. After I had told her my mind, I turned to go back into our building and that was when she (Funmilola) dragged me back and produced a sharp object from under her cloths and attacked me with it,” Haliya said

Haliya was left there in the pool of her blood until neighbours rushed her to the hospital. Doctors say she's is lucky to be alive. Meanwhile, the man has since denied dating both young girls.



How My Wife Died At NIS Recruitment Exercise In Benin! Man Narrates




Late Mrs Sandra's Family
The husband of one of those who didn’t make it alive back home at the just held NIS recruitment exercise in Samuel Ogbemudia Stadium Benin City has asked the Government to please provide a job for him to be able to look after the three children the deceased has now left alone in his care.

According to Mr Amun, he and his late wife woke up very early that day to be able to get to the venue on time. After they had queued for a while, he became tensed and almost couldn't breathe and asked his wife to let them go home, but she told him to look for a seat outside the stadium and relax while she remains on the queue.

While outside the stadium, his wife’s brother (who also came for the same exercise) ran into him and asked after his sister, and he told him she was on the queue.

Around 4pm, they were asked to come in and write a test and he looked all around for her, but she was nowhere to be found. His younger brother later forced him to go and write the test, that his sister must be somewhere writing hers already.

After the test, the search continued and he waited till around 7pm at the stadium gate for his wife, but she never came.

After getting home without meeting her at home, he became more worried and decided to go to the hospital most of the injured victims were rushed too, but to his surprise his wife's name was not among the names of the victims showed to him.

The nurses later told him, a corpse was brought in with no identification, he asked to see the corpse, and on getting there, he saw his wife lying down lifeless.

''Behold I saw my wife sleeping alone. I touched her, she could not touch me, I called her, she could not answer'', he said in tears.

Mr Amun also made a vital statement that the stampede occurred when some immigration officials locked the stadium’s big gate and left the smaller one opened, and requested that each candidate pay N1000 each before entering the stadium. Those who could afford it paid, and those who couldn’t made every effort to get into the stadium and that lead to the initial stampede, Mr Amum revealed.

He however pleaded with the Government to please give him and his brother in-law a job, so he would be able to look after his three children.

Mrs Sandra Amun applied for the job as a graduate while her husband applied as a senior secondary school holder. May her soul continue to rest in peace.


Police Arrest Female Graduate Who Leads 7-Man Robbery Gang

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A seven-man robbery gang led by a woman, Chioma Ezekwesiri, has been smashed by the Special Anti-Robbery Squad, SARS, in Lagos, southwest Nigeria.

The robbery suspects were arrested while attempting to rob Bolatito Hotel, Kola Bus Stop, Ijaiye, Lagos.

In chat with P.M.NEWS, Chioma said she arranged for the guns with Raymond Chukwuka, a.k.a. Stubborn, they were to use for the operation, which she claimed was a land matter, whereas the police said that their mission was allegedly to rob a male customer of the hotel, who sells fertilizer, of about N8 million.

THE SUSPECT

Other suspected members of the gang are: Amadi Igwe, 41, Raymond Chukwuka, 24, Ignatius Okeredi, 27, Michael Madu, 52, and Okechukwu Jerome, 28, and a yet-to-be identified member who is at large.

The alleged robbery operation, according to the police, was foiled by some staff of the hotel, who promptly made a distress call to SARS operatives.

The law enforcement agents were said to have surrounded the hotel, and later searched all its occupants. It was in the process that two locally made guns and 12 live ammunition were recovered from the robbery suspects.

“We received a distress call from a staff of Bolatito Hotel, who said they suspected some people around the hotel. The Special Anti-Robbery Squad moved in, surrounded the place and demanded to search everybody. It was in the process that two guns and 12 live ammunition were recovered in Chioma’s car. This led to the arrest of all her gang members,” a top police source told P.M.NEWS.

Following their arrest and conclusion of investigation, the police took them to court.

Chioma, 35, who claimed to be a Law graduate from the University of Lagos, was remanded in prison custody along with six other members of her gang by Magistrate A.O. Komolafe of the Magistrates’ Court, Ikeja.

They are facing a three count charge of robbery, conspiracy and unlawful possession of firearms.

Chioma claimed that she graduated from UNILAG in 1999, was called to the bar in 2000, and owns a Non-Governmental Organisation, Youth of All Nations Empowerment Association.

Soucre: PM NEWS


Police Arrest 7 Suspects Over Discovery of Skulls In Ibadan, Victim Recounts Ordeal

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The Oyo State Police command has arrested seven suspects in connection with  discovery of skulls in an abandoned building at Soka area of Ibadan last Saturday.

According to the police, no fewer than seven suspects have been arrested. This was disclosed by the command’s Public Relations Officer, SP Olabisi Ilobanafor yesterday, in Ibadan.

Decomposing bodies, skulls, human parts and some half-dead people  believed to have been hypnotised by the ritualists were found in the bush.

Among the suspects arrested were two persons caught in the area and five security personnel working in a nearby company.

While vowing that the command would take  all necessary steps to bring all culprits to book, Ilobanafor said the State Criminal Investigation Department, SCID, had swung into action that would lead to the arrest of other suspects.

Explaining further how the den was discovered, she recalled  that a group of 100 area boys had invaded the Toll gate behind state urban Mass Transit Yard, located at Soka in search of two missing cyclists when they discovered an uncompleted building where two women and five women were found chained and totally unkempt.

While one Abideen Akanmu who claimed to have been employed by one Gbadamosi was arrested, the police are on the trail of the leader of the gang  who is now at large.

All the suspects  arrested, she added would be charged with murder and unlawful possession of fire arms. The captives rescued from the bush, she said, had been taken to hospital for treatment while corpses found were also deposited at the morgue.

Items recovered at the building were three Dane Guns, three single  barrel, one bow, 16 arrows,  22 cutlasses,  40 live cartridges, seven table knives, one axe, two iron files  and one handset.

One of the victims that were rescued by the police at Soka forest, Ibadan, Oyo State, which is believed to be a ritual killers’ den, said she was kidnapped in September 2013.

The victim, whose name is being withheld for security purpose, is currently recuperating with seven other victims in Adeoyo Hospital, Ibadan.

No fewer than 20 decomposing bodies were discovered in the forest on Saturday, while about 23 others were rescued alive.

They were taken to different hospitals in the city, with eight of them – four men and four women – in Adeoyo Hospital.

The woman, who was still weak from her experience, told newsmen that she knew she left her home in September and since then could not remember anything until Saturday when she was rescued.

She said, “I remember that I left my home in Okebola and was going to Challenge. I entered a taxi and that is the only thing I can remember until police rescued us yesterday (Saturday).”

When asked whether she did not see her captors killing people and selling their parts, she said, “I think such thing happened, but it did not really register because my mind was blank.

“I can recollect seeing people falling down, I can remember that some were taken away and they never returned, but really, it did not mean anything to me until Saturday. It was as if I woke up from a slumber.”

At this point, the victim countenance changed as if she went into a trance. Many questions asked by our correspondent went unanswered.

We also observed that other victims were yet to regain their full strength.

They muttered words that were disjointed, but the nurses said they would regain full mental and physical ability.

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They said two days of treatment was not enough to cure them completely, having been chained and maltreated for a long time.

No doctor was around to attend to our correspondent, but it was gathered that two of the victims were able to give their names.

Credit: goldmyne.tv

Head Shot: Dutch Muslim who lived on welfare for 10 years poses with five heads

Last night I played Happy; today the enemy woke me up.  Look at this photo. This best illustrates the battle we are fighting. The savages vs the civilized man. A culture that hails the exaltation of life versus an airless, anti-humane ideology that reveres death, carnage and barbarity. This is a Westernized Muslim from Iraq, now in Syria, but it is hardly exclusive to the Muslims in Iraq or Syria or Nigeria etc. Devout Muslims in Afghanistan (the Taliban) use these heads as soccer balls, and devout Muslims in Syria have massive human slaughterhouses. Devout Muslims in Nigeria are setting schools ablaze and slaughtering children, doctors, and teachers. Thailand, too. Obama says, “Respect it!” Geller says, “He’s nuts.”

Here is a pious Muslim who lived in the West for 10 years at the largesse of the taxpayer. And this is what emerged.

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Abdurahman, apparently a Dutch jihadi from Almere, can be seen on You Tube with a bloody knife behind five cut-off heads. He is originally from Iraq, and has lived more than ten years in The Netherlands. He lived there from social security as he was found unfit to work and used drugs against claustrophobia and schizophrenia.

In 2012 an AFP picture emerged on which Abdurahman could be seen next to a dead body, while he was reading the Koran. Initially he joined the Jabhat-al Nusra movement in Syria, which is linked to Al Qaida. It seems that he has now moved to the even more barbarian ISIS jihadis. It is claimed that the heads were cut off from Al Nusra fighters.




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Jay Z Is Almost 50?


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Right now, US no.1 rapper, Jay Z may have to answer for allegedly reducing his age from almost 50 to being in his 40s.

According to radio legend Troi Torain, a.k.a, Star, he and Jay Z are same age, almost 50. He said this while speaking with a caller on his live radio show recently.

"I shouldn't blow this up, maybe because he doesn't promote it publicly, but Jay Z and I are the same exact age. I will be 50 May 3rd. He and I had this conversation so all these, he's 43, 42...that's just media bull shit!"he said.


So Nigerian celebs aren't the only one with the official age syndrome after all!

Even at that, just like Pharell Williams, Jay Z doesn't look his age too.


Credit: dailytimes.com.ng

15 Red Flags Not to Ignore In Any Relationship

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Ever feel as though you always find yourself in situations with the slightly shady? Take off the rose-colored glasses and pay attention to these bright red flags. Your sanity (and friends who care about you) will thank you.

1. Boundaries, What Are Those?

Whether it's a "joke" at your expense, language you don't appreciate, or pressing you to share information you have been clear you deem private, anyone who doesn't respect your right to your own space (emotional, personal, physical or mental) is going to have you going from 0-to-frustrated in no time.

2. They Spill Your Secrets

Look, everyone has a slip-up now and then, but when the person you have sworn to secrecy just happens to slip right in front of the one person you asked them not to, chances are it wasn't an accident. If it happens twice, you've got yourself a bonafide frenemy.

3. They Freak Out

In college, your roommate leaving you at the bar was dragged-out fight, drama-worthy, but we are all adults here. Unless there is a fire or a real reason to scream, yell, send 100 rapid-fire texts and run around like Charlie Sheen at a Hollywood Hills after-party, take freak outs as frustrating proof that the person in front of you can't control their emotions. Whether this is caused by anxiety, immaturity and/or a tendency to bully, it's not something you need to deal with.

4. They Stonewall You

Uh-oh, they are mad at you, or you have hit a topic they don't like to discuss. You know what that means, you're suddenly being told they won't listen to what you have to say by way of jumping off of the phone, ignoring your texts/calls, reminding you they are stressed or saying it's not the right time (again). No one likes discussing touchy topics, but if you are never heard, perhaps you should move on and converse with someone who actually cares about the feelings -- and person -- behind the words you're trying to say.

5. They Lie

If your new pal or partner just changes the truth when they don't like the way a conversation is going, it's a huge red flag. No trust, no relationship. End of story.

6. They Get Too Close Too Soon

Yes, there are some people who just "click," but bonds take time to build, so guess what? They don't really love you on week two, and that new acquaintance has yet to earn the bestie title.

7. They Disrespect You

Everyone gets upset, has stress and gets pissed, but how we deal under pressure gives others a clear view into our character. Calling someone names or treating someone like your own personal verbal punching bag says more about them (and what you'll be dealing with every time they get upset) than the words coming out of their mouth. Note: This is true even if they are berating that annoying customer service agent on the phone. People who can treat anyone that way will eventually treat everyone that way.

8. He/She Makes "Suggestions" As To How To Improve Your Looks or Life

It may feel like he or she is being helpful, or even caring, but giving unsolicited advice in these areas can be a real sign that someone wants to control you. You have been you for decades and if you're happy with that, he should be, too. Unless you mention that you want to change something and he offers to help, take note.

9. They Always Want Something From You

You've come to realize that the random "thinking of you" text always has a string. Friends should always be there for one another, but if someone is always looking to take, it's time to tell them to take a walk.

10. Hey, It's Not My Fault

We are all going to do things to screw up, and unless we're talking huge betrayals, it's often how we handle ourselves after the screw up that determines the fate of our relationships. If the person you are dealing with has an excuse for the inexcusable, tread lightly. Other clues you're dealing with a blame-shifter: He or she blames all of his exes for break-ups, bosses for job losses and plays the victim in situations where they clearly have equal control.

11. Your Friends Hate Them

Your real friends love you and want the best for you, and if one person says something, you can chalk it up to a personality clash -- but if you're hearing comments or crickets every time you mention him or her, sit up and take notice.

12. They Hate Your Friends

Not everyone is going to want to go out for a drink with every new person you meet, but if your new girl or guy is constantly making comments in an attempt to get you to question your relationships with your friends or family members, something is up. Your guard should be, too.

13. Manipulative Much?

It sounds crazy (because it is) but some people will tell you that you have said and done things you didn't and that you're overreacting when you're not. These are the same people who will kick you in the shin and say "ouch" either literally or figuratively (literally would be both funny and insane). Gaslighting and crazy-making are common attributes of abusers, so steer clear.

14. You Never See Each Other

In this day and age, it is common for people to text more than they actually speak to one another, but if you've been texting more than 10 days with no plans to meet up, you're likely one of many women he's garnering attention from. That's not a relationship worthy of your time. Stay friends if you want to, but move. Keep your "fan" status for your favorite pop star.

15. That Old Uneasy Feeling

Intuition is a real thing, and we all have it. Trust yours.




Credit: huffpost.com